How many chances are we afforded to re-structure, re-frame, and re-purpose our tiny life? Infinite.
This was the philosophical question running through my mind as I was viewing Stuart Davis’s collection In Full Swing at the De Young Museum in San Francisco. The sharp corners, swirly squiggles, bright contrasted colors and layered effect depth of his paintings left my heart exhilarated and my brain doubtful – how can pieces this beautiful look so random and haphazard?
The logical part of my brain was at it again. A staunch perfectionist, it was reeling its ugly head and overriding my heart (again). Davis’s sharp corners, swirly squiggles, bright contrasted colors and layered depth were offending its sensibilities. Poor brain.
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Stuart Davis believed in creating and recreating pieces and that’s where his genius lie. A lifelong jazz enthusiast, his approach to art was as a musician’s approach to jazz – improvise. Davis’ willingness to go back to old pieces and reinterpret them suggests a strength in character, a fearlessness and detachment of his work that is commendable. Too many times we get attached to our thoughts, our works and preferences and choose to stay in a known rut, rather than an unknown, open-ended mystery.
Davis was on to something. Maybe life can only be truly lived and thoroughly enjoyed if we dedicate ourselves to the craft of improvement, instead of its quest for perfection. Life is unpredictable, messy, incongruous and conflicting, and it can be tempting to want each puzzle piece of life to fit with the other. Sometimes the brain rejects what the heart considers – sometimes the heart is repulsed by the brain’s pro and con list. This tug-of-war is what forces us out of our comfort zone and into a torturous, crippling ping-ponging match of horrible what-if scenarios going through the lizard brain, over-thinking and ultimately, fear-based, habitual decision making.
Embrace the messiness of life. Embrace its complication. Embrace it and think of it as a nugget of gold that the universe has handed to you – the battle wound in the form of a priceless token. Never be afraid to venture into deep, murky water for fear of what you’ll encounter. Maybe, like Davis, we’ll come up with something better than previously envisioned. By giving ourselves permission to loosen up, let go, and get rid of that sense of attachment which is really the brain’s attempt at certainty, define our reality and cling to it as to avoid heartache, we dedicate ourselves to the craft of improvement, playing a seeking student in the world that’s a teacher.
Change is the only constant in life. Just as Davis adapted – no, he did more than that; he reveled in – change that was occurring during his time, examples of which were the rise of technology, labor relations, and civil rights – I took away one grand learning from my experience: it is never too late to repaint life the way I want it to be. To move forward with steadfast purposefulness based on the information we have in the moment is the best we can do. There are no take-backs, no u-turns, but as Davis’s pieces suggest, why should there be? A sharper left angled line looks so much more striking on the bright, booming and vibrant canvas of life than a neatly painted, conforming object.
Une Pause 