I’ve started reading Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao, a book that Dr. Dyer wrote after dedicating a year of his life living the practices of the Tao philosophy. What struck me about this book is that it’s as relevant today as it was when Lao Tzu first founded these principles in 142 C.E. Tzu’s 81 verses are universal in nature and are relevant more now than ever.

My hope is to share with you verses of the Tao that have had the greatest impact on me. As a working professional in a highly competitive world, I know I’m not alone when I say that life can get messy sometimes – complicated, fast-paced, and zombie-like. We buy into the notion that we can “multi-task” and “optimize” our time – but in reality, we have always been able to do only one thing, at one time. You may ask, “But what about the time when I cut vegetables for dinner while I was watching TV – wasn’t I doing two things at once then?” To which I’d answer, “Were you really simultaneously wielding your knife and watching the screen at the same time – if your eyes were on the screen, how’d you manage to not cut your fingers?” 🙂

But I digress. Lao Tzu’s philosophy provides guidelines for of operating in the world which grant us freedom, synchronicity, and simplicity. He cuts straight through small, insignificant nuances in order to get us see the bigger picture, which is that all aspects of life are interconnected and in alignment with a Higher Being. Worldly experiences are a window meant to connect us to our spirituality, by realizing that all events in life are transitory. Events that take place in our life – no matter how big or small, inconsequential or impactful – are part of the Tao, which is an all-encompassing set of happenings and factors that is working for us all the time. It is “the ultimate Source of the 10,000 things” – it’s the invisible, hidden, yet simultaneously omnipresent energy that is seamlessly working to move our lives forward with grace, harmony, abundance, minimal strain, and great majesty (p.17).

The second verse of the Tao particularly struck me. It goes like this:

Under heaven all can see beauty as beauty,

Only because there is ugliness.

All can know good as good only because there is evil.

 

Being and nonbeing produce each other.

The difficult is born in the easy.

Long is defined by short, the high by the low.

Before and after go along with each other.

 

So the sage lives opening with apparent duality

And paradoxical unity.

The sage can act without effort

And teach without words.

Nurturing things without possessing them,

He works, but not for rewards;

He competes, but not for results.

 

When the work is done, it is forgotten.

That is why it lasts forever.

No matter what your religion, the Tao philosophy seeks to teach us that we are all part of a whole, and one in the same. There is no either, or – the “ugly” helps us see the “beautiful” because it creates contrast. It actually plays a huge role in identifying the “beautiful” as indeed, beautiful. Now, more than ever, though we think we live in a world of opposites, instead of understanding one way of living or another, why not expand our mind to understand the greater role that one plays to allow the other to be?

Take people, for instance. All my life I’ve tried to understand people and adjust my behavior to comply with the situation at hand. Uncomfortable with confrontation, I used to think that if I accommodated and understood the person I was interacting with, I would be success in giving that person no reason to be unhappy with me.

After doing a bit of soul searching, I realized that my behavior has lead me to depend on external factors for my happiness. After all, how am I to know how the person I’m interacting with will comprehend my message? I can be the most adhering and polite person on the planet, but that person lives in a universe that hinges on many behavioral, emotional, preconditioned factors – all which depend on the inner agreements she’s made with herself and how she perceives the world. I am but a 2-minute break – a brief interaction – in that person’s life, and she will understand me only through the lens through which she sees herself. If there is peace, tranquility, and ease in her universe, she will bring calming energy to the conversation we have. If she is conflicted, unhappy, or experiencing discomfort, that’s the energy with which she will receive any new information that I present to her.

So, the way in which I’m received ironically has nothing to do with me. People are beautiful and ugly, generous and stingy, happy and sad – we are all of these things at once, and we need to strive to be empathetic and considerate, while having a healthy sense of boundaries.

* * * *

In the show Parks and Recreation, after a pleasantly surprised Leslie Knope reflects on Tom Haverford’s selfish behavior and the efforts he took to make amends for his behavior, she reflects that:

“Tom Haverford is a selfish, unctuous, sleazy, self-promoting, good-hearted, secretly kind and wonderful tiny person.”

This quote essentially sums up what Lao Tzu is teaching us. People are a wonderful package of contradictions. They can be gentle, caring, and sensitive – while being selfish, hurtful, and vindictive. The Tao teaches us that it is possible for all those characteristics to live in the same person and not be at odds with one another.

Our job as seekers of knowledge in this world is to go with the flow and realize that the very concept of paradoxes is the mind’s way of mutually excluding that which it cannot comprehend. Allowing seemingly mutually exclusive concepts to live together in our mind not only expands our comprehension, it also allows the Universe to show us how It works – by showing us how all things are connected.

I’m leaving you with the eight verse of the Tao, which also resonated with me:

The supreme good is like water,

Which nourishes all things without trying to.

It flows to low places loathed by all men.

Therefore, it is like the Tao.

 

Live in accordance with the nature of things.

In dwelling, be close to the land.

In meditation, go deep in the heart.

In dealing with others, be gentle and kind.

Stand by your word.

Govern with equity.

Be timely in choosing the right moment.

 

One who lives in accordance with nature

Does not go against the way of things.

He moves in harmony with the present moment,

Always knowing the truth of just what to do.

On to the next ten verses…