“We say that you cannot divert the river from the riverbed. We say that everything is moving, and we are part of this motion, that the soil is moving, that the water is moving. We say that the earth draws water to her from the clouds. We say the rainfall parts on each side of the mountain like the parting of our hair, and that the shape of the mountain tells where the water has passed. We say this water washes the soil from the hillsides, that the rivers carry sediment; that rain, when it splashes, carries small particles. That the soil itself flows with water and streams underground. We say that the water is taken up into the roots of plants, into stems. That it washes downhill into rivers, that these rivers flow to the sea, that from the sea and the sunlight, this water rises to the sky. This water is carried into clouds and comes back as rain, comes back as fog, comes back as dew, as wetness in the air. We say everything comes back. You cannot divert the river from the riverbed. We say every act has its consequences. That this place has been shaped by the river, and the shape of this place tells the river where to go. We say look how the water flows from this place and returns as rainfall. Everything returns, we say, and one thing follows another. There are limits, we say, on what can be done, and everything moves. We are all a part of this motion, we say, and the way of the river is sacred, and this grove of trees is sacred, and we ourselves, we tell you, are sacred.” [Woman and Nature]

“You have to know what you want to get. But when you know that, let it take you. And if it seems to take you off the track, don’t hold back, because perhaps that is instinctively where you want to be. And if you hold back and try to be always where you have been before, you will go dry.”  [Gertrude Stein]

Sacred timing. Divine harmony. Union. 

These are some of the topics that have been on my mind lately. Sometimes when we wish for something, we don’t realize that in order to receive that which we’ve asked for, a new version of us needs to surface which is worthy of receiving the gift. 

For example, when we wish for courage aren’t we also asking the Universe to place us in difficult situations that call forth our courage?

I’m getting the exhilarating and nervous feeling that everything I’ve ever wished for is about to come true. This year life has consisted of a series of events; a culmination of happenings that have led to the next natural step. Now, I’m not saying it’s been smooth sailing. In fact, quite the opposite. Parts of it have been joyful, yes – but also painful and excruciating. But I as reflect on what’s happened, I can’t help but feel that it’s all been deliberate.

It seems as if the Universe is conspiring to get me somewhere. And on the way there, I’m being asked to shed all that doesn’t serve me; old patterns, ways of thinking, and release everything and everyone that is holding me back.

I mean… I did wish for healing, release, courage and freedom. But who knew that the act of letting go would be so vulnerable, uncomfortable and disorienting?

To heal, release, be courageous and free, I’m being asked to shed, rise, unblock and detox. Not the most pleasant experience.

One such catalyst for this stage of the journey happened when I went to a 2-week acting workshop in the Bay Area earlier this month.

The teacher did an amazing job of creating a safe space, encouraging exploration and play. 

Play.

As a child, play used to come naturally to me. No judgment, just openness and engagement with life. Relaxed, ready, calmly aware of the present moment, which is ever fleeting, new and fresh.  Head in the clouds, I’d disappear into my world for hours.  But somewhere along the way, I stopped playing. Life became serious, task-oriented and a list of to-dos. I suppose I grew up, but is it necessary to diminish the inner child in order to survive in this world?

When we stop playing, we stop connecting with ourselves and others. We stop opening ourselves up. We stop engaging in the dance of life – the exchange of energies that allows us to take what someone gives us and build something from it. 

Expression, exchange and nimble movement is replaced by rigidity, structure and low vibration.

We become isolated, robotic, closed off. 

Energetic exchange allows us to see others. It also encourages us to be seen. And isn’t that what play is about?

My biggest takeaway from class was that none of us can play alone. We need people to play with. And if I’ve wished for healing, release, courage and freedom, what I’m really wishing for is a deeply fulfilling and rich life full of diverse experiences. 

The courage to show more of myself. 

The confidence to be myself. 

The vulnerability to share more of myself. 

The ability to accept and love myself unconditionally – mistakes and all. Honoring my past and trusting the road ahead.

The realization that expression is the greatest gift there is; to allow myself to be shaped with what life has in store for me.  To become fertile, malleable soil that is shaped by life’s experiences. Creating connection and sacred union with one’s self and space. 

Because it’s all linked together at this point. If what we wish for is a metaphorical treasure chest, to reach it the Universe maps out experiences that we must go through in order to get us there. That map – full of what we may consider detours – are actually powerful, necessary agents of change. These changes transcend us so that when we reach our treasure, we are a version of ourselves who’s ready to accept what we’ve been longing for.  

My longing to connect more intimately with life is the rain that is shaping the soil that is my soul. To understand the cosmos under which we are all connected; just like water which drip by drip forges its path, shapes soil and cuts through rock. 

As we wish, we must be ready to receive. And to receive, we must allow the journey to happen and to trust it. 

May we all engage in the nimble and magical dance of life with grace and ease. May we surrender to forces greater than us and experience the sacred space that exists between thought and movement, new and old, rain and soil, the earth and the heavens.